LandyTow
They say 90% of all Land Rovers manufactured are still on the road. The other 10% have reached their destination.
All Land Rovers are like women – they moan on long journeys, embarrass you in front of friends and cost you more money than you ever expected, once you’ve committed yourself to one.
Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket.
Landy Itiey Style
Why do most Defenders have jerry cans and gas bottles fitted?
So that the driver can make coffee while waiting for road assistance.
Landy’s have the best fuel consumption of all 4×4′s.
That’s because they are always being towed by something else.
Why do Land Rovers always drive in convoy?
They are playing ‘Who’s the Weakest Link?’
Landy Snow Job
I always wondered why they called their models, a Series 90, Defender 110 etc.
But this weekend I found out, those numbers in the model name are the top speeds.
Rumour has it that the next series Land Rover has no speedometer.
Apparently all you need to do is phone the guy in front and ask at what speed he is towing you.
Landy Speed Ace
When you drive on a toll road, you get these yellow emergency phones next to the road. Stop and look closer. On the phones there are emergency numbers: police, ambulance, doctor and Land Rover Service.
Landy Rally Job
Q: What do you find on pages 4 and 5 of the Landy’s user’s manual?
A: The train & bus schedule.
Q: What is the sport-version of a Landy?
A: When the driver wears Nike shoes.
Q: What do you call a Landy with brakes?
A: Customised.
Q: What do you have to do if your Landy gets in the way of a swarm of killer bees?
A: Stop pushing and take refuge inside the car.
Landy Retired Pink Panther
Why do the latest models have rear window demisters?
A. To keep the hands warm when pushing.
Land Rover has a special this month!!
If you buy one, you get a dog for free!! Then you do not have to walk home alone.
From the pen of Sharon Mandy.